Sharing Household Work

Sharing Household Work

A new study has identified an emerging domestic threat that could be responsible for making future marriages teeter and prompting a decline in volunteerism and empathy.

The study is about children and chores.

University of Maryland Professor Sandra Hofferth—who is an expert on how children use their time—reports that 6 to 12 year-olds now spend an average of only 24 minutes a day doing household chores. That’s a 12% drop from 1997, and a 25% skid since 1981.

The chore-defying dive reflects “important behavioral and values shifts that will affect lives for years to come,” says Dr. Hofferth.

Doing household chores as a child turns out to be a major predictor of whether an individual does volunteer or community work as an adult, according to sociologists, who note that housework is an important teaching tool. And when it comes to domestic bliss, the distribution of domestic duties—grounded in childhood chores—can make or break a marriage.

Chores are a Major Source of Conflict in Marriage

If you ask wives what one of their top stresses is, quite a few will respond that it is the fact that their husbands don't want to do their share of work around the house. Stress levels increase in your home when either one of you is unhappy about unfinished chores.

Couples fight over who does what around the house almost as much as they fight over money. Many surveys and studies point out that even though many women work outside the home, they still tend to do most of the household chores.

Whose job is it anyway?

The care of a house is not just the responsibility of the Mom and/or Dad or any single person. Every person who lives in the home should share in the work of keeping that house organized and comfortable for all who live there (except molds, mildews, germs and bacteria—who should find conditions uninhabitable).

Obviously, someone needs to take charge of certain areas. Women or men who do the bulk of the cooking can be rather territorial about their kitchens. Young adults can be protective of their privacy (but remember who owns the house and pays the bills!). However, ALL who live in the home share the responsibility for the crustiness of the kitchen, the litter in the living room, the bacteria in the bathroom—because EVERYONE contributes to the mess. All those hairs in the bathroom can’t possibly be traced to a single body!

How do we all work together so everyone is happy?

Families, or others who live together, should meet together to find out what needs to be done and what is most important to each person. For one person it may be a clean kitchen, another may like the fridge organized. As each person shares what things that he'd like to see happen you can add those things to the chore list. Inviting each person to share his/her ideas makes everyone feel a valuable part and helps you to prioritize what's important. It brings you together as a team all working toward a common goal.

It may be difficult at first to do all that we should to help out around the house. We may feel that doing our part takes time away from what we would really LIKE to do. But if all are working together and just doing their part it will make everyone’s job easier.

“…Our Heavenly Father asks only that we do the best we can—that we work according to our full capacity, however great or small that may be."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Two Principles for Any Economy," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 56

Remember that doing chores builds character.

Parents, grandparents, family and friends all play an important role in a child's life by expecting him or her to help around the house. Chores teach children responsibility in life and also help them feel valued, loved, and a part of something bigger than themselves.

Working together to keep our home clean serves a higher purpose.

George Eliot wrote, What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?

Do you make life less difficult for each other, or more difficult? How does your answer make you feel?

“Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves.

“That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is.”

Henry B. Eyring, “Our Perfect Example,” Ensign, Nov. 2009, 70-71

How we work together and serve one another is both a measure of our love for one another and a way to increase that love. When we do those things around the home that make another’s life easier or simply more comfortable or pleasant, the Lord is pleased, love for one another grows, and the Holy Ghost will dwell there more often—perhaps even always! And that’s a home we can all be pleased with!